I am 44 years old and I have been living with alcohol every day for the past 10 years. My life has been rough and confusing during these years because of how I chose to handle problems, small or great and how I looked at life in general. What I found to be overwhelming and difficult to manage, I managed with alcohol. This was no solution to my problems; it was the problem to my solutions. So many things in my life needed me, needed me to be in control. But to me, if I didn't need them, I didn't need to have control of who I was or what I was, and certainly didn't need control of my drinking.
I am divorced and have a beautiful 12 years-old daughter as well as a brother and his loving family. Without their love and concern for me, I would have died on March 19, 2005. For whatever reasons I created so self-destruct and not need them…they still needed me. They wanted me and I did not. I just wanted alcohol. I am alive because I needed control and this is what my brother gave me. He stood by me through it all, through everything. He saw death, he smelled death, he touched death, he spoke death, he housed death and in his own loving way…he said "Goodbye" to death and hello to rehab. My brother said hello to life and control and asked one lost time to "Please get help, I love you and you can love yourself again through rehabilitation."
In November of 2005, my brother and his loving wife presented me with an opportunity to get my life back. We sat in their living room and they exposed to me their truest, most honest and important feelings and concerns they had for me. Basically what was discussed was they realized I had a death with and there was nothing more they could do for me and my alcoholism, BUT there is a Recovery Program that is designed in such a way, like no other, that they tackle the addictive behavior by first cleansing the body and the mind so that the person achieves a sense of clarity in thinking, then they instill and teach the courses to make the person become equipped in the way they think and handle their life, by using mental tools taught in each course.
My brother had been searching for two weeks using all the energy and resources he could utilize outside of his own family and life to find a solution to addiction and he found this rehab program on his own. He read what they offered and he and his wife looked me square in the eyes without hesitation or reservation and said, "If YOU do this program, just think, YOU get to live and everyone who loves you gets to have you and we all want to have you so much!"
On December 15, 2005, I got out of bed to a new start. I packed my belongings and spent a 5 hour drive with my brother to accept one of the biggest challenges of my like. I had made the choice to no longer live with alcohol, to no longer destroy my precious life and leave in its wake the path of destruction from something that is so socially acceptable and yet causes so much ruin by those who do not want and then cannot control their consumption of this poison. It is insidious to anyone's life no matter how it is used.
On October 6, 2006, at 8:15pm, some 9 ½ months later, I graduated this rehab a new man, a new father and a new brother. I walked away from alcohol and right into the arms of life. My stay here was longer than most, but I wanted it that way and all the loving, caring people there were more than glad to have me. They truly love what they do and I am living proof and testimony to that. I cannot begin to describe to you the changes I went through and experienced simply because it is such a personal experience. But I can tell you of the 485 other addicts I encounter during my stay (or students, as we like to be called). I realized that even though we may look different and have different addictive behaviors, there is within each of us a common thread that connects us all. We all want to get our like back and be in control of our actions. To be the cause of and not the effect of something that costs so much, not just in money, but in the lives of others as well. Let me remind you – I was willing to kill myself at the age of 43 for alcohol. Ask yourself, what kind of a trade was I thinking of? Really, what kind of trade is that? It is called, by exchange, "Everything For Nothing".
To whom this may concern, the only thing your life really needs is love and happiness. Go out and make a beautiful life. The kind of life you deserve and while you're at it. Do it with your eyes wide open! You will be amazed at what you see and receive. But most of all, you will be amazed at how much life is within you and how much you have to give. Just ask my family.
For help with overcoming drug or alcohol addiction go to: